In my peer review process, Mitch was very helpful as he gave me a lot of things to think about in regard to my paper as a whole. He really wanted me to refine and focus my opening paragraph first, which would help with the entire paper. I thought that by focusing the information surrounding my thesis, I would be able to refine the paper as a whole. The thought I had to refine the thesis was “many twenty-somethings are just starting to support themselves and have no experience or guidance in the decisions they make with their newly found freedom.” I used this to show that my paper would be focusing on how emerging adulthood would affect the decisions people make. This helped me decide what to keep and develop or cut entirely out of my paper. For example, my original paper had almost 10 paragraphs, whereas my final draft only had 6. Many of these were from either cutting out entire paragraphs due to irrelevance, or to combining two or more paragraphs to strengthen and focus my point.
